The bug caught me!

Being sick is never fun. But being sick and alone is just the path to utmost misery. Don’t get me wrong. I love my 2 baby cats and they are more company that any flat mate could have ever been. But they are babies at the end of the day. What I want is someone to look after me, coddle me, do things for me and generally make a fuss over me.

The flu bug seems to be in vicious attack mode these days. Who knew getting caught in the rain for a few minutes could give me temperature, body ache and the worst a running nose and sore throat. There is something about the sore throat I hate the most; the fact that it is so awful every morning. You get up feeling miserable and irritable. Not a nice way to start any morning. Why is it always worse in the mornings? And a running nose! NOTHING is as annoying as sitting and sniffing the whole day which ends up with your ears and sinus hurting.

Somehow fetching yourself a glass of warm lime water, gargling and steaming are all burdensome when you’re sick. They magnify and turn into these ‘why must I do all these things alone?” situations. Somehow, these things are quite enjoyable when someone is doing them for you, but doing it alone? no no.

What is this need that pulls all of us when we are sick and takes us back to being whining children? Why is it that an otherwise perfectly independent person who is used to doing things on their own is consumed by self pity and the want to be looked after? I don’t know these answers, but I wish right now, I had someone around to do the ‘looking after’. You will see me back on my feet in a few days looking amused at the idea that I need looking after. But for now, I, Mythily Nair am a whining, sick, pitiful person who is asking the universe to send me something to hold onto till I get rid of this blasted flu. My sympathies to all the others caught by this malicious bug. Hot water, steam and gargle everyone. Here’s to us getting better. Cheers and achoo.


Missing the student life

Being a student is probably one of those things I will always miss. Thankfully it is also one of those things I can go back to again. But will time change the feeling? Will the magical wonder not be there when I return to it?

I was never one of those people who couldn’t wait to finish college to start working. I wanted to remain a student always. I love the whole process. The routine, the certainty of what everyday would bring the easy life it lent, the excitement of studying, the classes and even the much dreaded work and exams. I loved the fact that there were so many people with different views and approaches to life that you came across. It was a constant path of learning; textually and otherwise.

Working has proven to be a whole new experience, not one I’m particularly fond of. Maybe it is because I am still not doing what I want. But to get there, this stage is necessary and that is the biggest motivation point to getting myself out of bed and to work everyday. The biggest difference is the kind of people you meet and their approach to life is suddenly so different from what you were used to. Suddenly everyone is busy and have their own lives. There are no plans for dinner and movies coz the precious bits of free time you get, you tend to guard jealously. You also stop meeting a variety of people all of a sudden and see your social network shrinking day by day.

Suddenly life seems to be all about living from one Sunday to another, if you work Saturdays like I do.

So to all you people out there still in college and school. Savor every bit of it. Coz you will miss it sorely one day. Student days, I hope you aren’t too far away.

For the Little Dog

I woke up this morning and was walking down the road thinking how nice the whether in Bangalore is at the moment. Cool wind on my face and a warm sun. And then I saw it. A dog lying on the road bleeding from his head; a road kill and a mere statistic to everyone walking down the road not giving him a second look, not bothering to give him dignity in death and at least put his body away. The way people were acting was as though he was a plastic bag, just walking around him while he was lying on the road, life snuffed out of him from someone who obviously thought it was more important to swerve into the sidewalk, (for the dog near the side and not on the road center) than stay on the road. Who gives these murders driving licenses anyways?

I have never understood this attitude human beings have towards animals. The hierarchy table, deeming ourselves more important are all man made constructs. Nature has given life to all living things and no one is more important than another and every single life holds the same value under her rule. If they were that unimportant, they wouldn’t exist. But they do and they have as much right to love and respect and dignity as humans do.

Every time I bring up these issues which I feel strongly about, I am laughed off as being an ‘animal activist’ or ‘Manekha Gandhi follower’. These tags are as stupid as the people who label me with them. The comments I hate the most is ‘Oh there are so many people suffering, why don’t you do something about that’. Get on the agenda people. No one denies that people suffer. That doesn’t automatically mean other sufferings have to be all dismissed. We take over space, we force animals into corners, and we treat them without an ounce of respect and all that is ok just because they don’t carry the label of ‘human beings’? It’s the circle of life. Each supports another and no pyramid exists. We need to realize that destroying one segment will finally result in our own destruction. But then that’s what we humans seem to do best, destroy. And in a country like India where animal laws and rights are laughable, with no movement for change I guess expecting people to react is laughable. But is expecting a bit of empathy such an impossibility? What if it was one of our own lying there on the road? Would we still turn a blind eye? How are we slipping into being this species who claim we are progressing, but every evidence shows regression in terms of internal growth? Give me fewer buildings and high speed internet and more of care and compassion.

Goodbye little dog. I hope this is an escape from a world that wasn’t worthy of you and that wherever you are right now, is a better place. I pay my respects to you and will remember you. You will never be a mere statistic with me.

Saying goodbye

Saying goodbye has never been something I was good at. There was something about it that never sat well with me, the finality of it all was a feeling that wedged itself in my throat without ever getting swallowed down, and somehow the hurt of it all stayed buried inside and every time it was mulled over, the wave of pain just seems as sharp at it ever was. The whole concept of time being a healer never made sense. Coz time doesn’t take the pain away, doesn’t ease it down, it just buries it in a whole whirl of everyday routine.

The whole Michael Jackson dying scenario has left me with a big wedge in my throat. Losing some one whose music was a big part of my growing years was a part of it, but the otherside saw me having to deal with remembering all the other goodbyes I have said in my life and the ones I will eventually have to say throughout my life, facing stuff in my life that isn’t settled, facing facts of my own mortality and of those I love. Its funny how one hurt can spiral a wave of all the other hurt re-surfacing, stuff you know aren’t even connected to this lone incident.

But maybe saying goodbye is a huge part of life. It toughens you, one goodbye at a time, for all those big hills you have no choice but to climb. The sense of closure is so essential to move on, coz without goodbyes, you are always left wondering where you stand or immersed in a cloud of false security.

So today, as I watch MJ’s memorial service, I’ll try and make the goodbye a celebration of all the good times and memories. The memories that gave me joy and be thankful for them. And as I say goodbye to him, I will also try and say goodbye to all the other ghosts I hide inside and hope that I allow them to rest in peace like I expect MJ to.


A leap for human rights from India

I was overjoyed to hear about the rule on the section where consensual sex between people of any gender is not looked upon as a crime. I feel its a big step for gay rights and a huge leap for human rights.

I always found the entire section funny, because any one who has read it would see that it never mentioned sex between people of same gender, just said gender. Does that mean till now straight sex was looked upon as a crime too? Anyways, with this, the right to a private life for everybody is a legal right. How does it matter what your preference is as long as you aren’t harming someone else or forcing sex or committing adultery or engaging in sex with a minor?

The whole nonsense of religious leaders protesting against this is ridiculous. There is marital abuse, rape, terrorism, cruelty to animals, poverty and a whole lot of things that need attention. Instead they harp on the right to lead your life the way you prefer it? As if any god denied you the right to be yourself when you are causing no harm to anyone else. What stupidity is that? All these bullshit is man made nonsense and it it sacrilegious to hold god responsible for it. I am so glad that the Indian govt went along with justice and not prejudice.

The whole section still needs to be looked at. Sodomy, forced sex, pedophile are all problems that doesn’t pertain to any sexual orientation. It exists amongst straight people as much as gay people and is a social problem and not one that needs to be tagged with homosexuals. Its high time people realize that straight or gay, we are all humans and have equal rights to live the way we see fit without other people labeling us and isolating us from the society. But for now, I am savoring the rule and am glad that amongst all the black clouds of today, a glimpse of silver lining does show itself once in a while. Way to go India.