My Experiences with Pick -up Lines

Being a 28 year old girl with fairly decent looks, I have had my share of being harassed by guys. Wolf whistles, being followed by off-keyed Hindi and Tamil song renditions, being stared at are all part of most girls’ days in India. But you do start feeling sorry for the guys when they finally turn to pathetic and insanely stupid pick up lines. Some of them have been so bad, but so funny, that I thought it was about time to share them with the world. So here’s to all those poor blokes who have had the misfortune of coming up to me with hopes and getting chewed up in the process.

The Worst One of’em all: Let us share the sweet milk of friendship.

Me: Blank

  • No Bling? What about if I give you a ring?

Me: What about a fat lip?

  • Your eyes are the colour of shimmering asphalt in the summer.

Me: Well yours look like your doped, which you must be. Shimmering asphalt??

  • Single? Or taken but wants to mingle?

Me:  Kill me. Kill me. Kill me.

  • Tea? Coffee? Juice? Water?

Me: A gun maybe?

  • Can I have your number?  Me: No

Can I have your address? Me: No

Do you want my num? Me: No

Can I buy you a drink? Me: No

Do you want to buy me a drink? Me: No

Can I have 10 bucks change for cigarettes? Me: WTF!

  • If you want to slack off, I can take you for a ride.

Me: To the police station would be nice.

  • Wanna feel my biceps?

Me: Wanna feel my fists?

  • What an ass you have.

Me: What an asshole you are.

  • Babes like you dig me big time.

Me: Yeah, would love to dig you into the earth.

  • A cool girl needs a hot guy like me.

Me: Also an axe to chop your penis off.

  • You know what they say about big feet. (And thrusts his pelvis at me)
    • Me: Pea sized brain??
  • Oh you are so beautiful; you must be an air hostess with Kingfisher.

Me: Oh you must be that escaped lunatic from the asylum.

  • Movie and dinner or shall we skip to after?

Me: How about we skip to before where we haven’t met and keep it that way?

  • You have very pretty toe nails. Can I have them when you cut them?

Me: O….K….Someone call for help.

  • Praise the lord who created you.

Me: Yeah and curse him for creating you.

  • How about you facebook me and we can hook up?

Me: How about you jump off a bridge?

  • Why’s a beautiful girl like you walking alone on the road?

Me: Avoiding creeps like you.

  • Hi, My favourite fruit is jackfruit.

Me: Hmm, must be coz you are a jack ass.

  • I am from a very good family.

Me: Really??Honest? Unbelievable.

  • You have pretty eyebrows. Do you wax them or thread them? Do you use Maybelline charcoal tipped pencil to define them?

Me: Have you considered a sex change?

  • You are my queen.

Me: Off with your head.

The Best of’em all: Hello, My name is Bart. Is this seat taken?

Me: Sigh, I think I’m in love…

And they go on and on and on..But they sure do keep me entertained.

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